Tuesday, 30 March 2021

Nancy Werlin (2006) The Rules of Survival. New York, Speak. 978-0-14-241071-4

 


The narrator is the eldest of three children who live with their neglectful and abusive mother. The story follows her increasingly erratic behaviour as she pursues a man who has rejected her until a tragedy occurs.

[Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence]

[Spoiler alert]

This is an interesting book as it is the first one which portrays an abusive female in a heterosexual relationship. It is interesting to see portrayed how a character – the woman in this case – who is less physically strong, uses violence through the manipulation of other people as well as being mentally and emotionally abusive.

The novel is primarily the story of the three children and how they develop techniques to survive their mother’s neglect and abuse. The eldest child, the narrator, involves a man he meets at the counter of a store. He doesn’t realise it at the time but he is connecting with an adult who has survived childhood abuse. Unwittingly he brings the man into their family and into an intimate relationship with the mother. It is when he experiences her manipulation that he ends the relationship, sparking an escalating pattern of violence, usually at the hands of her new lovers, and abuse towards him. It escalates to a tragic conclusion and he is then drawn in to gather together a group of people to support the children.

This is a young adult novel, with the main character, Matthew Walsh, writing a letter to his youngest sibling, Emmy, who would have been too young to remember the details.

 

Awards:

  • Finalist National Book Award for Young People’s Literature 2006
  • Finalist Los Angeles Times Book Prize 2006
  • American Library Association Best Book for Young Adults 2007


 

“Two or three things I know for sure 

and one of them is that 

telling the story all the way through 

is an act of love”

 

Dorothy Allison quoted in Carmen Maria Machado (2020) In the Dream House P251

Carmen Maria Machado (2020) In The Dream House. London, Serpent’s Tail. 978-1-7881-6224-1

 


This book is a personal memoir, reflecting on an abusive lesbian relationship framed in different narrative lenses. The relationship is detailed from the first meeting, through the abuse and after the writer had left.

[Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence]

The story is told partly in the second person and partly in first person. It provides a really intimate portrait of the abuse told through many different narratives – some less than a page long – but each developing the story. It details coercive control in its clearest form – gaslighting, anger at saying or doing the wrong thing, being with the wrong people, it being the wrong time.

This is the first book I’ve read where the experience of the writer resonates with my own experience of an abusive relationship, despite my relationship being a heterosexual marriage and this being a lesbian relationship. All the other books have also been heterosexual relationships but nothing else has come close to my own experience.


Awards:

  • Winner of the Lambda Literary Award in LGBTQ Nonfiction
  • Winner of the Judy Grahn Award for Lesbian Nonfiction
  • Finalist for the Stonewall Book Israel Fishman Non-Fiction Award
  • Finalist for the William Saroyan International Prize for Writing
  • Longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence in Nonfiction

Best Book of the Year

  • The New Yorker
  • TIME Magazine
  • Vogue
  • Entertainment Weekly
  • Harper’s Bazaar
  • Paris Review

Best Memoir of the Decade

  • LitHub
  • Paste
  • Autostraddle

Tuesday, 2 March 2021

Cara Putman (2017) Imperfect Justice. Nashville, Thomas Nelson. 978-0-7180-8348-0

 



The main character in this story is a lawyer working for an organisation supporting women experiencing domestic abuse. Her dedication is shaken when a woman she has been helping dies.

[Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence]

[Spoiler alert]

The plot follows her relationship with the brother of one of the women she was working with who inexplicably shot her children and killed herself just as she was about to flee her abusive marriage. The two work together to prove her innocence and ensure her husband accounts for his crime and the remaining daughter is safe.

The author is a Christian and the book is published explicitly as a Christian book. The characters therefore have thoughts and take actions which are in-line with these beliefs.

The author has experience of domestic abuse through her work as a lawyer, working some of the time with an organisation supporting people experiencing abuse. The abuse includes financial/economic abuse, stalking, extreme control of the wife and daughters and ultimately murder.

The romantic relationship between the lawyer and the brother of her client would be unethical and undermines belief in the plot itself.


 "There are men who don't like the idea of losing the control they believe is their right!

Cara Putman (2017) Imperfect Justice. Nashville, Thomas Nelson. p 210.


"One has to work very carefully with what is i n between the words. What is not said. Which is meansure, which is rhythm, and so on. S...